Raven walks into the Baxter kitchen, talking on her mobile, as her father Victor works behind the counter.
RAVEN
(gasps) No, he didn't! (pause) No he didn't! (pause) He did not! No he didn't!
By this time, Victor is standing in front of her.
VICTOR
Sounds like he did, Rae. Hang up the phone.
RAVEN
(stares at Victor) Alright. No he didn't, girl. Bye.
She hangs up the phone and puts her bag down on the seat in front of the desk.
VICTOR
Rae, when you come home, the least you could do is talk to me. Say "hi dad".
RAVEN
Hi, dad! So, what do you want to talk about?
VICTOR
Well, argh...what happened at school today?
RAVEN
Well. Tyrone asked Amanda to Chris' party, but he is still going out with Beverly! So I was like, no he didn't, and then Chels said, yes he did, and then I was like, no he didn't, and then Chels said yes he did…
VICTOR
Rae, Rae, Rae. I'm sorry, I meant what's happening in your class?
RAVEN
Oh, right...the other part of school. (long pause) Nothin'. Oh, wait! Wait, wait, wait. My math teacher did give me a note. Let me get it for you Dad. (she goes over to the desk and sits on the chair, taking numerous personal care items out of her bag as she speaks) OK, where's that note? (squeezes some moisturizer on her hand) Oh, hey, what's up, girl?
VICTOR
Do you have any books in this book bag?
RAVEN
Of course I do. Here...(takes iron from bag) Oh...wait, that was the travel iron. My bad. Comes in handy, though. What was I looking for again?
VICTOR
The note. (Raven looks confused) From your teacher.
RAVEN
Oh, right...
Raven takes out the crinkled up note from her bag.
RAVEN
Oh, wait...
She spreads it open and pushes the travel iron down against it. Victor rolls his eyes and takes it from her.
VICTOR
Well, it says that your math class will be starting trigonometry.
RAVEN
Triga-what?
VICTOR
Yeah. And it says that you have to buy a special scientific calculator.
RAVEN
What? (holds up bag) There's no more room in here!
VICTOR
Rae, do you even listen in class?
RAVEN
Oh, of course I do, dad. How else would I know that Tyrone is dating another girl? Please.
VICTOR
Rae, your education is important and you need to get this calculator, even if it does cost...(looks at figure on page)...one-hundred dollars? (!)
RAVEN
What? For a hundred dollars I could pay a nerd to do my homework.
VICTOR
Really? I only used to get ten...I mean, um...(takes out his wallet)...here's your money.
Victor places the money in Raven's readied hand.
RAVEN
Thank you.
***
OPENING CREDITS
***
Raven, Chelsea and Eddie are walking through a clothing store, Carrington's.
CHELSEA
Rae, the calculator departments' on a different floor...in a different store...in a different mall!
RAVEN
Hey, hey...as long as we're here, we may as well see what's new.
EDDIE
Oh, hey, you know I'm down.
CHELSEA
Eddie, I don't know where you get the patience. You always end up shopping with us girls and you never complain.
EDDIE
Yeah, well that's a sacrifice I make for my friends...
Eddie approaches two other girls who are looking at buying some clothes.
EDDIE
Excuse me, that dress is definitely your colour. (the girls walk off)
Eddie looks embarrassed, as he points his way back to Raven and Chelsea.
CHELSEA
Come on Rae, let's go get your calculator so we can find an outfit to where to Christa's party.
Raven is looking at a blouse on a mannequin top beside where they are standing, and when she touches it finds herself transfixed into a vision...
In her vision, Raven is wearing the blouse, spinning around and looking at herself in the mirror in the Baxters' living room.
RAVEN
Bam! Whoaw.
Cuts back to the present...
...Raven is looking anxiously at the blouse, and Chelsea crosses to Eddie's side.
RAVEN
(anxious; snarling) I'm 'gettin it!
CHELSEA
(looking at tag) Rae, it's 89.95
RAVEN
Actually, Chels, with sale's tax, that's...97.21
EDDIE
I thought you were bad at math.
RAVEN
Oh no, no, no. This is not math, OK, this is shopping. And I'm 'gettin it! Just 'gotta find one in my size...
CHELSEA
Rae, come on, you cannot afford this top.
RAVEN
Um, yes I can, my dad gave me a hundred dollars the other day and I am 'gettin it.
EDDIE
That money is for ya'll calculator.
CHELSEA
Yeah, Rae, what are you going to tell your dad?
RAVEN
I'm not going to tell him anything, because I'm going to buy the top now, where it to Christa's party, and then return it again tomorrow.
CHELSEA
Oh yeah, and then you can use the money to buy your calculator, that's brilliant!
EDDIE
Chels!
CHELSEA
(unsure) ...and wrong! (muttering to Eddie) ...why is it wrong, again?
EDDIE
Because you can't buy something and party in it if you know you're going to bring it right back.
RAVEN
Yes I can, you know why? 'Cause I'm 'gettin it! It is the only one in my size, come on baby...(she takes the mannequin and bumps into one of the store's employees with it) ...are you OK?
FRANK
Just a little internal bleeding.
RAVEN
Argh, I'm really sorry, argh...(looks at his badge)...Frank.
FRANK
It is pronounced, Fronk.
RAVEN
Fronk. I would like to purchase this shirt.
FRANK
Oh, really? (sarcastic) Goodie, no one's ever bought a blouse here before. (Raven continues on holding the mannequin top) Keep in mind that the mannequin is not included.
RAVEN
Oh, yeah, of course. (places mannequin on bench) ...just take this top off...here you go! (throws the mannequin at Frank, and it lands on his feet)
FRANK
Aargh! (Raven turns back) That's 'gonna leave a mark.
RAVEN
I'm sorry, Frank.
FRANK
It's Fronk!
Anxiously, he reaches down and picks up the mannequin top, Raven turns away to the counter promptly.
***
Victor is sitting at the table reading the newspaper, as Cory comes down and goes to the fridge.
VICTOR
Well, it's that time of year again!
CORY
Oh, no, I have to get my shots?
VICTOR
No...
CORY
Argh...dentist?
VICTOR
No! Tomorrow is the fifty-percent off sale at Carrington's boy department. It's time for our annual father and son shopping trip.
CORY
(pause) NOOOO!!!
Cory runs for the door, shouting, but Victor stands and blocks his way. He walks Cory back into the kitchen.
VICTOR
Son, what is wrong with you?
CORY
Give me a shot, pull my teeth, anything but our annual father and son shopping trip!
VICTOR
I thought you liked our annual father and son shopping trip.
CORY
Yeah, when I was five!! Now I'm too old. All my friends go shopping by themselves. (sits a the counter; Victor stands behind the bench)
VICTOR
Name one.
CORY
Argh,...Pete.
VICTOR
Pete who?
CORY
(improvising) Pete Saladbowl.
VICTOR
How come I've never met Pete Saladbowl?
CORY
Because he's always out shopping, by himself.
Raven comes running in from the lounge room with her bag containing the blouse.
VICTOR
Rae, did you get it?
RAVEN
I sure did, and I'm about to go upstairs right now and try it on...(turns back; realizes her error)...I mean, try it OUT. To see if it works. (runs on upstairs)
CORY
You see that? You always let Raven go shopping by herself.
VICTOR
No, no, see, that's different. She's older, more responsible, look at her rushing up there to do her homework. (calls out upstairs) I am so proud of you, Raven.
RAVEN (V/O shouting from upstairs)
IT FITS!!! ...I mean, it calcu...lates...
CORY
So, argh...there's no escaping this nightmare, is there dad?
VICTOR
(gives him a back-hug; short laugh) That's the spirit!
Cory looks frightened, as Victor walks off...
***
At night – Eddie and Chelsea are pacing downstairs in the Baxter lounge room.
EDDIE
Chels, listen, dude! (goes to staircase and shouts) Rae, would you come on, we're going to be late for the party of the century!
CHELSEA
Seriously! And if we get there next century, we'll be too old to dance!
Raven comes out from her room around the corner and shows off her new shirt. She comes downstairs.
RAVEN
Um, relax, people, OK! Thank you. (walks over to the mirror) Because a party ain't a party until a shirt shows up!
Raven spins around as per her vision.
RAVEN
Bam! Just like I saw it, only of course...better.
EDDIE
Yeah, yeah, you're beautiful, let's go to the party. (goes for the door)
RAVEN
No, wait, I've got to put on the finishing touches! (takes out her lipstick)
As Raven goes to put the lipstick on, it slips out of her hand and runs down into her shirt, spreading everywhere.
RAVEN
Oh, no, no, where'd it go? No, no, no! Get out of the shirt! NO!!!
EDDIE
(seemingly oblivious to the disaster at hand) Can we talk about this on the way to the party?
RAVEN
What? (!) Eddie, I can't go to the party like this, I have to get the stain out!
CHELSEA
Oh, argh, Rae...don't worry, that stain'll never come out.
RAVEN
Chels, it has to come out! Because I need to return it tomorrow so I can get the calculator!
EDDIE
You had to get it. Well, now you got it.
Raven whimpers, unsure of what she will do...
***
Raven is looking at herself in the mirror.
RAVEN
How am I going to return it with this big stain on it?
EDDIE
(now sitting on the couch) Toss it and run.
RAVEN
I want my money back.
EDDIE
Toss it, grab the money, and run.
RAVEN
You know what, this is all my fault, so argh...I'm just going to stay here and try and get this stain out, you guys can go to the party without me.
Eddie and Chelsea run for the door in a hurried rush; anxiously.
EDDIE / CHELSEA
(wanting to get out) OK, BYE!!!
RAVEN
Hey, hey! Ya'll aren't going nowhere.
EDDIE
I knew it was a trick!
***
In the kitchen, Raven is holding the blouse and Chelsea is squirting it.
RAVEN
Is it coming out?
CHELSEA
(looking at the bottle) Yeah!
RAVEN
Great!
EDDIE
(sitting at the table) She means the stain!
CHELSEA
Oh...noo...
CHELSEA
This stuff sprays out really well, it must be the easy flown nozzle! (Raven takes the bottle)
RAVEN
Give me that!
EDDIE
(stands) Argh, Rae, it actually looks like the stain is getting bigger to me.
RAVEN
(looks at blouse) Oohh, it does...
CHELSEA
(grabs bottle) Oh no, maybe this is a stain enlarger!
RAVEN
(puts bottle back on counter) Chels, stop it! You know what, I'm just going to have to put it in the washing machine. (goes to walk away)
EDDIE
Oh, wait, do you mind if I put my draws in there?
CHELSEA
No!
EDDIE
Well she's going to do a load anyway!
***
Chelsea and Eddie are sitting at the kitchen counter, as Raven walks in.
CHELSEA
Hey, Rae. Is the stain gone?
RAVEN
Yep...it's gone...
Raven holds up the blouse, now a "mini" blouse.
EDDIE
Well I'm glad I didn't put my draws in there! Well, what happened, Rae?
RAVEN
I don't know, I used extra hot water, because it was extra stained, and it extra shrunk!
EDDIE
Now you need an extra hundred dollars to buy that calculator.
RAVEN
I can't tell my dad about this, we've gotta start stretching.
CHELSEA
Well, I don't know how that's going to help, but OK...
Chelsea gets up and starts doing some stretches.
RAVEN
Hey, Chels. I was talking about the top!
CHELSEA
Oh...that makes more sense...
RAVEN
Yeah...we gotta wet it and stretch it, then it will go back to it's regular size.
***
Raven is in the lounge room, wearing the blouse, with Eddie and Chelsea stretching at either side.
EDDIE
Rae, how much longer have we 'gotta do this?
CHELSEA
I think we're over-stretched!
RAVEN
Well, you guys know you have to over-stretch, because when you let go, it's 'gonna snap back into shape. Alright, let go but stand back, OK?
CHELSEA
OK…
RAVEN
OK, go!!
They let go, and they appear to be overstretched...
RAVEN
W...w...w...ait a little bit longer, just give it a second, come back to me...come back...oh, snap, it's not snappin' back! We 'gotta start over.
CHELSEA
Oh, OK, Rae, here, you can borrow my lipstick. (takes out her lipstick tube)
RAVEN
(hitting Chelsea) Not that part! You know what, maybe, if I put it back in the washer, it will shrink back to its normal size!
CHELSEA
Oh, yeah, and then we can go to the party!
EDDIE
Dude, the party's been over for hours.
RAVEN
You know what, I know you guys are mad at me, but you know what, when we look back on this...(laughs; Eddie and Chelsea glare angrily)...we're 'gonna laugh...and laugh...I'm 'gonna put it in the washing machine. (walks off)
***
The next morning, at Carrington's. Raven is holding the blouse, Chelsea and Eddie at her side.
CHELSEA
Well it took all night, but it looks as good as new.
EDDIE
Let's just return it and get out of here!
RAVEN
I know, because if my dad knew that I spent that calculator money on this top, he would be...
CHELSEA
...right over there!
They look over and see Victor and Cory at the boys' department.
RAVEN
Oh, my goodness, I forgot, today's their annual father-son shopping trip, we 'gotta hide before he finds us.
They run off, as Cory and Victor walk closer.
CORY
Dad, this is so embarrassing, I hope no one I know sees me here.
VICTOR
Cory, there's lots of kids here shopping with their dad's.
He looks over at some really young kids, shopping with their fathers.
CORY
Dad, they're babies!
VICTOR
What about that kid right there? (points to a guy crouching) He's about your age! (the guy stands up)
CORY
Him? He's the dad!
VICTOR
Oh...well come on, let's just look around.
Cory and Victor continue walking along, not noticing Raven and her friends posed as mannequins...
RAVEN
Oh, my goodness, now that was a close one. I just wish this was over and this shirt was out of my hands!
A cart that is being pushed by slips up the blouse from Raven's unsteady grip.
RAVEN
Hey!
CHELSEA
Whoaw, Rae, now wish for a calculator!
EDDIE
Follow that rack!
They follow the employee into the elevator, but are unable to reach the destination before the door closes. The arm hole of the blouse gets stuck in the middle of the door.
RAVEN
Oh, man! (pulls the blouse up and down) Oh, get out of there! I worked too hard for you!
Raven leans her foot up against the door and the arm of the blouse eventually falls out. She is hurdled back, and runs into Frank, causing him to spill his drink all over his suit.
RAVEN
Oh, I am...so...sorry...
FRANK
You!
RAVEN
Are you okay?
FRANK
Aside from the excruciating pain from this hot boiling water, I feel...just peachy.
RAVEN
Um, it was an accident Frank, I mean...
FRANK
It's Fronk! Now how am I going to get this stain out?
CHELSEA
Oh, well Frank, I can tell you what not to do...
FRANK
Now why did I ever leave house wares? Now, if you'll excuse me, because I am going to go down to my car right now, and I'm going to have myself a good cry...
Raven reaches to get some cream from his nose, but he backs away, with terrified grunts.
EDDIE
(as Frank is gone) Now what?
RAVEN
Follow that elevator!
The three of them run to the fire stair door.
***
Cory walks over towards two young women, shopping.
CORY
So, argh, ladies...what brings you to the boys department?
GIRL #1
Where else do you look for boys? (giggles)
VICTOR
Hey, Cory – (shows a "bottom" mannequin presenting some underwear) – what do you think of these?
Cory covers his face with his shirt.
GIRL #1
How embarrassing. I'd hate to be that Cory kid.
CORY
Yeah, me too...how embarrassing...
VICTOR
(walks over with the underwear) Cory, did you hear me calling you? Now, they say these are irregulars, but I say, who cares, 'cause nobody's 'gonna see your underwear, right? (laughs; Cory looks embarrassed; the girls turn away)
CORY
Do I know you, sir? (the girls walk off, laughing. Cory waves them) Oh, OK...dad! I cannot believe you just talked about my underwear in front of those girls.
VICTOR
Oh, I'm sorry, son...I can see how that could be a little embarrassing.
CORY
A little?
VICTOR
Look, don't worry about it, I'm sure they've forgotten all about it.
They look over and see that the girls from before are still laughing wildly in regards to the matter.
VICTOR
Want me to go over there and talk to them? (runs towards them shining the underwear)
CORY
No, please, dad! (takes underwear) You are making it worse! Dad, I have my own bank account, I do my own taxes, I'm incorporated in three states. I think I can handle picking out my own stuff.
VICTOR
You know what...you may be right. Look, I'll tell you what, you can go shopping on your own for thirty minutes, and then I'll come back and see how you're doing.
CORY
Thank you.
VICTOR
I'll meet you at the cashier.
CORY
I'll be there.
VICTOR
And, no talking to strangers.
CORY
Dad!
VICTOR
Oh, I know, it's just...I love you son.
Victor embraces Cory and gives him a kiss on the head. As he walks off, the girls from earlier on walk by and laugh continuously.
CORY
I seriously do not know that man. (the girls walk off) Security? (begins to walk off...)
***
Eddie, Chelsea and Raven arrive upstairs and run past the rack, Raven grabbing the blouse as they go into the elevator.
RAVEN
Yes, I got it!
CHELSEA
Good, Rae, can we return it now?
RAVEN
Not 'till I figure out a way to put the sleeve back on!
EDDIE
Oh, it never ends!
The elevator door closes, and the three of them run into the tailer's office, only to find an "out to lunch" sign.
CHELSEA
Oh, tough break, Rae, the tailer's out to lunch.
RAVEN
No problem, I know how to work a sewing machine. I'll do it myself! (sits down at the machine)
CHELSEA
Aargh, are you sure, Rae? It look pretty professional.
RAVEN
Chels, a sewing machine is a sewing machine, OK? Thank you.
Raven lines the fabrics up, but accidently sews it to her shirt...
RAVEN
(screech) Aargh, I sewed myself to the machine! Oh, my goodness, you guys, a little help here, please!
EDDIE
Are you sure you can't get out of there by yourself?
RAVEN
I can't, I am sewed in!
EDDIE
(in a rush) ...let's go! (they run for the door)
RAVEN
What!
EDDIE
We have been up with you all night, little missy!
CHELSEA
Yeah, Rae, we're going to go home and take a nap.
RAVEN
Wait, ya'll, remember, we're going to laugh about this.
Raven begins laughing...
CHELSEA
Bye! (walks off)
EDDIE
Hallo'. (walks off)
Raven's laugh turns into a whimper.
FRANK (V/O calling)
You who, Hello?
RAVEN
Oh, Frank!
Raven puts on the sunglasses and hat as Frank enters.
FRANK
(unaware of Raven's presence at the machine) There's a customer in here! I want this suit altered, can you do that for me? We'll take you now. (goes to mirror; Raven covers herself with blanket) There's a maniac out there trying to get me! And now I think I'm seeing her everywhere...(paranoid, he walks out)
RAVEN
OK...(rips herself free from the machine) Yes!
VICTOR
(entering) Hello?
RAVEN
No!
VICTOR
Um, are you the seamstress?
RAVEN
(not sure what to say) Ci...
VICTOR
Great...um, do you speak English?
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
OK...do you understand what I need you to do?
RAVEN
Sew.
VICTOR
Right then...can we get started?
Raven walks over to Victor, who is now standing in front of the mirror, and starts mucking around with the back of his suit.
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
Aargh, great...this is a nice suit, isn't it?
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
What's your name?
RAVEN
Sue...
VICTOR
Sue? How it figures. So, Sue, when will the suit be ready?
RAVEN
Six...
VICTOR
(looks at watch) Six? Whoaw, that's wonderful. So, am I done?
RAVEN
Shoe!
Raven ushers him down, and it is revealed that a game of noughts and crosses have been embodied into Victor's shirt.
VICTOR
(walking into dressing room) Shoe? Shoe? OK, well I'm going to take this suit off, and leave it in the dressing room. Um, see you soon, Sue?
RAVEN
Who?
VICTOR
Um, you, Sue?
RAVEN
Ci…(gives a thumbs up)
Raven takes a sigh of relief, as Victor turns away.
***
At the purchases counter, Cory unloads a pile of clothes. Victor is beside him.
CORY
Check it out, dad. So how did I do?
VICTOR
That's a lot of stuff, Cory.
CORY
Don't worry dad, you know why? Cause everything was on sale. And I even got some regulars. (holds the underwear up; the girls from before walk past laughing) What? These aren't mine, I'm holding them for a friend!
VICTOR
Nice cover son. But you know what, you did a good job shopping. I think you might be ready to go solo.
CORY
You mean it, dad? Seriously? You mean no more father and son annual shopping trip?
VICTOR
Yeah, it's the end of a tradition. I'm 'gonna miss it.
CORY
Yeah, me too dad. It was fun. (turns away) Yes!
VICTOR
But, on the plus side, I'm happy to report that I have to such responsible kids.
Raven runs past in a hurry covering herself with the blouse. She runs to the service desk and cuts in line.
RAVEN
Oh, excuse me. (Frank turns around wide-eyed)
FRANK
My nightmare continues.
RAVEN
(fake laughter) Nice to see you again too, Frank.
FRANK
It's...whatever...
RAVEN
I'd like to return this shirt please.
FRANK
Really? Is there a problem with it?
RAVEN
No, not at all. It's in PERFECT condition.
FRANK
Well if it's perfect, why do you want to return it?
RAVEN
Um, because...it wasn't exactly...really, what I was looking for.
FRANK
Very well. (takes blouse)
RAVEN
Really? That's it? I can get my money back? (indistinct 'yes' from Frank; screech from Raven)
FRANK
Aargh, don't dance yet. What you need to show me, to get your money back, is a receipt.
RAVEN
(feeling all over) Huh? Reciept? ...I don't think I have a receipt...
FRANK
No receipt? Well, I only have one word for you. (throws blouse at her) NEXT!
RAVEN
(to the girl behind her) Aargh, argh, no, girl! (to Frank; feeling through blouse) Actually, I left it in the pocket, now that I think about the situation, let me just get it for you because I really...need to give you this top back, I just wish I could get…(takes out a tiny piece of paper)...the receipt! Here it is. (shows it to Frank) Right here.
FRANK
That's it?
RAVEN
It would appear so. It must've, you know, shrunk when I washed it...
FRANK
Did you...
RAVEN
I had to get rid of the stain.
FRANK
The stain?
Victor and Cory walk over.
VICTOR
Raven?
RAVEN
Dad?
VICTOR
What are you doing here?
FRANK
I'll tell you what she's doing here, she's trying to pull the wool over my eyes, she wore this...she stained it, she washed it, she shrunk it, and now she has the mordacity to come and try and return it!
RAVEN
(whimper) Fronk, why??
VICTOR
Raven, is this true?
RAVEN
(Frank closed in on her; guiltily she speaks) Ci...
Victor gives her an angry look.
***
Raven is in the kitchen, hand washing dishes. There are stacks and stacks lined up against the sink. Victor is standing, with crossed arms, watching her carefully.
RAVEN
Dad, how many more dishes do I have to do? (places the latest clean dish on top of the pile)
VICTOR
Well, let's see. Shirt cost me a hundred dollars, plus a hundred dollars for the calculator, and at a nickel a plate, you'll be done by...(laughs)...you'll be done by the time you finish college.
Raven shares a quick "fake" laugh with Victor, and as she turns back to the sink when he walks away it eventuates into a whimper...
END CREDITS
That's So Raven © Walt Disney. No infringement is intended through the transcription of this episode originally written by Edward C. Evans.
RAVEN
(gasps) No, he didn't! (pause) No he didn't! (pause) He did not! No he didn't!
By this time, Victor is standing in front of her.
VICTOR
Sounds like he did, Rae. Hang up the phone.
RAVEN
(stares at Victor) Alright. No he didn't, girl. Bye.
She hangs up the phone and puts her bag down on the seat in front of the desk.
VICTOR
Rae, when you come home, the least you could do is talk to me. Say "hi dad".
RAVEN
Hi, dad! So, what do you want to talk about?
VICTOR
Well, argh...what happened at school today?
RAVEN
Well. Tyrone asked Amanda to Chris' party, but he is still going out with Beverly! So I was like, no he didn't, and then Chels said, yes he did, and then I was like, no he didn't, and then Chels said yes he did…
VICTOR
Rae, Rae, Rae. I'm sorry, I meant what's happening in your class?
RAVEN
Oh, right...the other part of school. (long pause) Nothin'. Oh, wait! Wait, wait, wait. My math teacher did give me a note. Let me get it for you Dad. (she goes over to the desk and sits on the chair, taking numerous personal care items out of her bag as she speaks) OK, where's that note? (squeezes some moisturizer on her hand) Oh, hey, what's up, girl?
VICTOR
Do you have any books in this book bag?
RAVEN
Of course I do. Here...(takes iron from bag) Oh...wait, that was the travel iron. My bad. Comes in handy, though. What was I looking for again?
VICTOR
The note. (Raven looks confused) From your teacher.
RAVEN
Oh, right...
Raven takes out the crinkled up note from her bag.
RAVEN
Oh, wait...
She spreads it open and pushes the travel iron down against it. Victor rolls his eyes and takes it from her.
VICTOR
Well, it says that your math class will be starting trigonometry.
RAVEN
Triga-what?
VICTOR
Yeah. And it says that you have to buy a special scientific calculator.
RAVEN
What? (holds up bag) There's no more room in here!
VICTOR
Rae, do you even listen in class?
RAVEN
Oh, of course I do, dad. How else would I know that Tyrone is dating another girl? Please.
VICTOR
Rae, your education is important and you need to get this calculator, even if it does cost...(looks at figure on page)...one-hundred dollars? (!)
RAVEN
What? For a hundred dollars I could pay a nerd to do my homework.
VICTOR
Really? I only used to get ten...I mean, um...(takes out his wallet)...here's your money.
Victor places the money in Raven's readied hand.
RAVEN
Thank you.
***
OPENING CREDITS
***
Raven, Chelsea and Eddie are walking through a clothing store, Carrington's.
CHELSEA
Rae, the calculator departments' on a different floor...in a different store...in a different mall!
RAVEN
Hey, hey...as long as we're here, we may as well see what's new.
EDDIE
Oh, hey, you know I'm down.
CHELSEA
Eddie, I don't know where you get the patience. You always end up shopping with us girls and you never complain.
EDDIE
Yeah, well that's a sacrifice I make for my friends...
Eddie approaches two other girls who are looking at buying some clothes.
EDDIE
Excuse me, that dress is definitely your colour. (the girls walk off)
Eddie looks embarrassed, as he points his way back to Raven and Chelsea.
CHELSEA
Come on Rae, let's go get your calculator so we can find an outfit to where to Christa's party.
Raven is looking at a blouse on a mannequin top beside where they are standing, and when she touches it finds herself transfixed into a vision...
In her vision, Raven is wearing the blouse, spinning around and looking at herself in the mirror in the Baxters' living room.
RAVEN
Bam! Whoaw.
Cuts back to the present...
...Raven is looking anxiously at the blouse, and Chelsea crosses to Eddie's side.
RAVEN
(anxious; snarling) I'm 'gettin it!
CHELSEA
(looking at tag) Rae, it's 89.95
RAVEN
Actually, Chels, with sale's tax, that's...97.21
EDDIE
I thought you were bad at math.
RAVEN
Oh no, no, no. This is not math, OK, this is shopping. And I'm 'gettin it! Just 'gotta find one in my size...
CHELSEA
Rae, come on, you cannot afford this top.
RAVEN
Um, yes I can, my dad gave me a hundred dollars the other day and I am 'gettin it.
EDDIE
That money is for ya'll calculator.
CHELSEA
Yeah, Rae, what are you going to tell your dad?
RAVEN
I'm not going to tell him anything, because I'm going to buy the top now, where it to Christa's party, and then return it again tomorrow.
CHELSEA
Oh yeah, and then you can use the money to buy your calculator, that's brilliant!
EDDIE
Chels!
CHELSEA
(unsure) ...and wrong! (muttering to Eddie) ...why is it wrong, again?
EDDIE
Because you can't buy something and party in it if you know you're going to bring it right back.
RAVEN
Yes I can, you know why? 'Cause I'm 'gettin it! It is the only one in my size, come on baby...(she takes the mannequin and bumps into one of the store's employees with it) ...are you OK?
FRANK
Just a little internal bleeding.
RAVEN
Argh, I'm really sorry, argh...(looks at his badge)...Frank.
FRANK
It is pronounced, Fronk.
RAVEN
Fronk. I would like to purchase this shirt.
FRANK
Oh, really? (sarcastic) Goodie, no one's ever bought a blouse here before. (Raven continues on holding the mannequin top) Keep in mind that the mannequin is not included.
RAVEN
Oh, yeah, of course. (places mannequin on bench) ...just take this top off...here you go! (throws the mannequin at Frank, and it lands on his feet)
FRANK
Aargh! (Raven turns back) That's 'gonna leave a mark.
RAVEN
I'm sorry, Frank.
FRANK
It's Fronk!
Anxiously, he reaches down and picks up the mannequin top, Raven turns away to the counter promptly.
***
Victor is sitting at the table reading the newspaper, as Cory comes down and goes to the fridge.
VICTOR
Well, it's that time of year again!
CORY
Oh, no, I have to get my shots?
VICTOR
No...
CORY
Argh...dentist?
VICTOR
No! Tomorrow is the fifty-percent off sale at Carrington's boy department. It's time for our annual father and son shopping trip.
CORY
(pause) NOOOO!!!
Cory runs for the door, shouting, but Victor stands and blocks his way. He walks Cory back into the kitchen.
VICTOR
Son, what is wrong with you?
CORY
Give me a shot, pull my teeth, anything but our annual father and son shopping trip!
VICTOR
I thought you liked our annual father and son shopping trip.
CORY
Yeah, when I was five!! Now I'm too old. All my friends go shopping by themselves. (sits a the counter; Victor stands behind the bench)
VICTOR
Name one.
CORY
Argh,...Pete.
VICTOR
Pete who?
CORY
(improvising) Pete Saladbowl.
VICTOR
How come I've never met Pete Saladbowl?
CORY
Because he's always out shopping, by himself.
Raven comes running in from the lounge room with her bag containing the blouse.
VICTOR
Rae, did you get it?
RAVEN
I sure did, and I'm about to go upstairs right now and try it on...(turns back; realizes her error)...I mean, try it OUT. To see if it works. (runs on upstairs)
CORY
You see that? You always let Raven go shopping by herself.
VICTOR
No, no, see, that's different. She's older, more responsible, look at her rushing up there to do her homework. (calls out upstairs) I am so proud of you, Raven.
RAVEN (V/O shouting from upstairs)
IT FITS!!! ...I mean, it calcu...lates...
CORY
So, argh...there's no escaping this nightmare, is there dad?
VICTOR
(gives him a back-hug; short laugh) That's the spirit!
Cory looks frightened, as Victor walks off...
***
At night – Eddie and Chelsea are pacing downstairs in the Baxter lounge room.
EDDIE
Chels, listen, dude! (goes to staircase and shouts) Rae, would you come on, we're going to be late for the party of the century!
CHELSEA
Seriously! And if we get there next century, we'll be too old to dance!
Raven comes out from her room around the corner and shows off her new shirt. She comes downstairs.
RAVEN
Um, relax, people, OK! Thank you. (walks over to the mirror) Because a party ain't a party until a shirt shows up!
Raven spins around as per her vision.
RAVEN
Bam! Just like I saw it, only of course...better.
EDDIE
Yeah, yeah, you're beautiful, let's go to the party. (goes for the door)
RAVEN
No, wait, I've got to put on the finishing touches! (takes out her lipstick)
As Raven goes to put the lipstick on, it slips out of her hand and runs down into her shirt, spreading everywhere.
RAVEN
Oh, no, no, where'd it go? No, no, no! Get out of the shirt! NO!!!
EDDIE
(seemingly oblivious to the disaster at hand) Can we talk about this on the way to the party?
RAVEN
What? (!) Eddie, I can't go to the party like this, I have to get the stain out!
CHELSEA
Oh, argh, Rae...don't worry, that stain'll never come out.
RAVEN
Chels, it has to come out! Because I need to return it tomorrow so I can get the calculator!
EDDIE
You had to get it. Well, now you got it.
Raven whimpers, unsure of what she will do...
***
Raven is looking at herself in the mirror.
RAVEN
How am I going to return it with this big stain on it?
EDDIE
(now sitting on the couch) Toss it and run.
RAVEN
I want my money back.
EDDIE
Toss it, grab the money, and run.
RAVEN
You know what, this is all my fault, so argh...I'm just going to stay here and try and get this stain out, you guys can go to the party without me.
Eddie and Chelsea run for the door in a hurried rush; anxiously.
EDDIE / CHELSEA
(wanting to get out) OK, BYE!!!
RAVEN
Hey, hey! Ya'll aren't going nowhere.
EDDIE
I knew it was a trick!
***
In the kitchen, Raven is holding the blouse and Chelsea is squirting it.
RAVEN
Is it coming out?
CHELSEA
(looking at the bottle) Yeah!
RAVEN
Great!
EDDIE
(sitting at the table) She means the stain!
CHELSEA
Oh...noo...
CHELSEA
This stuff sprays out really well, it must be the easy flown nozzle! (Raven takes the bottle)
RAVEN
Give me that!
EDDIE
(stands) Argh, Rae, it actually looks like the stain is getting bigger to me.
RAVEN
(looks at blouse) Oohh, it does...
CHELSEA
(grabs bottle) Oh no, maybe this is a stain enlarger!
RAVEN
(puts bottle back on counter) Chels, stop it! You know what, I'm just going to have to put it in the washing machine. (goes to walk away)
EDDIE
Oh, wait, do you mind if I put my draws in there?
CHELSEA
No!
EDDIE
Well she's going to do a load anyway!
***
Chelsea and Eddie are sitting at the kitchen counter, as Raven walks in.
CHELSEA
Hey, Rae. Is the stain gone?
RAVEN
Yep...it's gone...
Raven holds up the blouse, now a "mini" blouse.
EDDIE
Well I'm glad I didn't put my draws in there! Well, what happened, Rae?
RAVEN
I don't know, I used extra hot water, because it was extra stained, and it extra shrunk!
EDDIE
Now you need an extra hundred dollars to buy that calculator.
RAVEN
I can't tell my dad about this, we've gotta start stretching.
CHELSEA
Well, I don't know how that's going to help, but OK...
Chelsea gets up and starts doing some stretches.
RAVEN
Hey, Chels. I was talking about the top!
CHELSEA
Oh...that makes more sense...
RAVEN
Yeah...we gotta wet it and stretch it, then it will go back to it's regular size.
***
Raven is in the lounge room, wearing the blouse, with Eddie and Chelsea stretching at either side.
EDDIE
Rae, how much longer have we 'gotta do this?
CHELSEA
I think we're over-stretched!
RAVEN
Well, you guys know you have to over-stretch, because when you let go, it's 'gonna snap back into shape. Alright, let go but stand back, OK?
CHELSEA
OK…
RAVEN
OK, go!!
They let go, and they appear to be overstretched...
RAVEN
W...w...w...ait a little bit longer, just give it a second, come back to me...come back...oh, snap, it's not snappin' back! We 'gotta start over.
CHELSEA
Oh, OK, Rae, here, you can borrow my lipstick. (takes out her lipstick tube)
RAVEN
(hitting Chelsea) Not that part! You know what, maybe, if I put it back in the washer, it will shrink back to its normal size!
CHELSEA
Oh, yeah, and then we can go to the party!
EDDIE
Dude, the party's been over for hours.
RAVEN
You know what, I know you guys are mad at me, but you know what, when we look back on this...(laughs; Eddie and Chelsea glare angrily)...we're 'gonna laugh...and laugh...I'm 'gonna put it in the washing machine. (walks off)
***
The next morning, at Carrington's. Raven is holding the blouse, Chelsea and Eddie at her side.
CHELSEA
Well it took all night, but it looks as good as new.
EDDIE
Let's just return it and get out of here!
RAVEN
I know, because if my dad knew that I spent that calculator money on this top, he would be...
CHELSEA
...right over there!
They look over and see Victor and Cory at the boys' department.
RAVEN
Oh, my goodness, I forgot, today's their annual father-son shopping trip, we 'gotta hide before he finds us.
They run off, as Cory and Victor walk closer.
CORY
Dad, this is so embarrassing, I hope no one I know sees me here.
VICTOR
Cory, there's lots of kids here shopping with their dad's.
He looks over at some really young kids, shopping with their fathers.
CORY
Dad, they're babies!
VICTOR
What about that kid right there? (points to a guy crouching) He's about your age! (the guy stands up)
CORY
Him? He's the dad!
VICTOR
Oh...well come on, let's just look around.
Cory and Victor continue walking along, not noticing Raven and her friends posed as mannequins...
RAVEN
Oh, my goodness, now that was a close one. I just wish this was over and this shirt was out of my hands!
A cart that is being pushed by slips up the blouse from Raven's unsteady grip.
RAVEN
Hey!
CHELSEA
Whoaw, Rae, now wish for a calculator!
EDDIE
Follow that rack!
They follow the employee into the elevator, but are unable to reach the destination before the door closes. The arm hole of the blouse gets stuck in the middle of the door.
RAVEN
Oh, man! (pulls the blouse up and down) Oh, get out of there! I worked too hard for you!
Raven leans her foot up against the door and the arm of the blouse eventually falls out. She is hurdled back, and runs into Frank, causing him to spill his drink all over his suit.
RAVEN
Oh, I am...so...sorry...
FRANK
You!
RAVEN
Are you okay?
FRANK
Aside from the excruciating pain from this hot boiling water, I feel...just peachy.
RAVEN
Um, it was an accident Frank, I mean...
FRANK
It's Fronk! Now how am I going to get this stain out?
CHELSEA
Oh, well Frank, I can tell you what not to do...
FRANK
Now why did I ever leave house wares? Now, if you'll excuse me, because I am going to go down to my car right now, and I'm going to have myself a good cry...
Raven reaches to get some cream from his nose, but he backs away, with terrified grunts.
EDDIE
(as Frank is gone) Now what?
RAVEN
Follow that elevator!
The three of them run to the fire stair door.
***
Cory walks over towards two young women, shopping.
CORY
So, argh, ladies...what brings you to the boys department?
GIRL #1
Where else do you look for boys? (giggles)
VICTOR
Hey, Cory – (shows a "bottom" mannequin presenting some underwear) – what do you think of these?
Cory covers his face with his shirt.
GIRL #1
How embarrassing. I'd hate to be that Cory kid.
CORY
Yeah, me too...how embarrassing...
VICTOR
(walks over with the underwear) Cory, did you hear me calling you? Now, they say these are irregulars, but I say, who cares, 'cause nobody's 'gonna see your underwear, right? (laughs; Cory looks embarrassed; the girls turn away)
CORY
Do I know you, sir? (the girls walk off, laughing. Cory waves them) Oh, OK...dad! I cannot believe you just talked about my underwear in front of those girls.
VICTOR
Oh, I'm sorry, son...I can see how that could be a little embarrassing.
CORY
A little?
VICTOR
Look, don't worry about it, I'm sure they've forgotten all about it.
They look over and see that the girls from before are still laughing wildly in regards to the matter.
VICTOR
Want me to go over there and talk to them? (runs towards them shining the underwear)
CORY
No, please, dad! (takes underwear) You are making it worse! Dad, I have my own bank account, I do my own taxes, I'm incorporated in three states. I think I can handle picking out my own stuff.
VICTOR
You know what...you may be right. Look, I'll tell you what, you can go shopping on your own for thirty minutes, and then I'll come back and see how you're doing.
CORY
Thank you.
VICTOR
I'll meet you at the cashier.
CORY
I'll be there.
VICTOR
And, no talking to strangers.
CORY
Dad!
VICTOR
Oh, I know, it's just...I love you son.
Victor embraces Cory and gives him a kiss on the head. As he walks off, the girls from earlier on walk by and laugh continuously.
CORY
I seriously do not know that man. (the girls walk off) Security? (begins to walk off...)
***
Eddie, Chelsea and Raven arrive upstairs and run past the rack, Raven grabbing the blouse as they go into the elevator.
RAVEN
Yes, I got it!
CHELSEA
Good, Rae, can we return it now?
RAVEN
Not 'till I figure out a way to put the sleeve back on!
EDDIE
Oh, it never ends!
The elevator door closes, and the three of them run into the tailer's office, only to find an "out to lunch" sign.
CHELSEA
Oh, tough break, Rae, the tailer's out to lunch.
RAVEN
No problem, I know how to work a sewing machine. I'll do it myself! (sits down at the machine)
CHELSEA
Aargh, are you sure, Rae? It look pretty professional.
RAVEN
Chels, a sewing machine is a sewing machine, OK? Thank you.
Raven lines the fabrics up, but accidently sews it to her shirt...
RAVEN
(screech) Aargh, I sewed myself to the machine! Oh, my goodness, you guys, a little help here, please!
EDDIE
Are you sure you can't get out of there by yourself?
RAVEN
I can't, I am sewed in!
EDDIE
(in a rush) ...let's go! (they run for the door)
RAVEN
What!
EDDIE
We have been up with you all night, little missy!
CHELSEA
Yeah, Rae, we're going to go home and take a nap.
RAVEN
Wait, ya'll, remember, we're going to laugh about this.
Raven begins laughing...
CHELSEA
Bye! (walks off)
EDDIE
Hallo'. (walks off)
Raven's laugh turns into a whimper.
FRANK (V/O calling)
You who, Hello?
RAVEN
Oh, Frank!
Raven puts on the sunglasses and hat as Frank enters.
FRANK
(unaware of Raven's presence at the machine) There's a customer in here! I want this suit altered, can you do that for me? We'll take you now. (goes to mirror; Raven covers herself with blanket) There's a maniac out there trying to get me! And now I think I'm seeing her everywhere...(paranoid, he walks out)
RAVEN
OK...(rips herself free from the machine) Yes!
VICTOR
(entering) Hello?
RAVEN
No!
VICTOR
Um, are you the seamstress?
RAVEN
(not sure what to say) Ci...
VICTOR
Great...um, do you speak English?
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
OK...do you understand what I need you to do?
RAVEN
Sew.
VICTOR
Right then...can we get started?
Raven walks over to Victor, who is now standing in front of the mirror, and starts mucking around with the back of his suit.
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
Aargh, great...this is a nice suit, isn't it?
RAVEN
Ci...
VICTOR
What's your name?
RAVEN
Sue...
VICTOR
Sue? How it figures. So, Sue, when will the suit be ready?
RAVEN
Six...
VICTOR
(looks at watch) Six? Whoaw, that's wonderful. So, am I done?
RAVEN
Shoe!
Raven ushers him down, and it is revealed that a game of noughts and crosses have been embodied into Victor's shirt.
VICTOR
(walking into dressing room) Shoe? Shoe? OK, well I'm going to take this suit off, and leave it in the dressing room. Um, see you soon, Sue?
RAVEN
Who?
VICTOR
Um, you, Sue?
RAVEN
Ci…(gives a thumbs up)
Raven takes a sigh of relief, as Victor turns away.
***
At the purchases counter, Cory unloads a pile of clothes. Victor is beside him.
CORY
Check it out, dad. So how did I do?
VICTOR
That's a lot of stuff, Cory.
CORY
Don't worry dad, you know why? Cause everything was on sale. And I even got some regulars. (holds the underwear up; the girls from before walk past laughing) What? These aren't mine, I'm holding them for a friend!
VICTOR
Nice cover son. But you know what, you did a good job shopping. I think you might be ready to go solo.
CORY
You mean it, dad? Seriously? You mean no more father and son annual shopping trip?
VICTOR
Yeah, it's the end of a tradition. I'm 'gonna miss it.
CORY
Yeah, me too dad. It was fun. (turns away) Yes!
VICTOR
But, on the plus side, I'm happy to report that I have to such responsible kids.
Raven runs past in a hurry covering herself with the blouse. She runs to the service desk and cuts in line.
RAVEN
Oh, excuse me. (Frank turns around wide-eyed)
FRANK
My nightmare continues.
RAVEN
(fake laughter) Nice to see you again too, Frank.
FRANK
It's...whatever...
RAVEN
I'd like to return this shirt please.
FRANK
Really? Is there a problem with it?
RAVEN
No, not at all. It's in PERFECT condition.
FRANK
Well if it's perfect, why do you want to return it?
RAVEN
Um, because...it wasn't exactly...really, what I was looking for.
FRANK
Very well. (takes blouse)
RAVEN
Really? That's it? I can get my money back? (indistinct 'yes' from Frank; screech from Raven)
FRANK
Aargh, don't dance yet. What you need to show me, to get your money back, is a receipt.
RAVEN
(feeling all over) Huh? Reciept? ...I don't think I have a receipt...
FRANK
No receipt? Well, I only have one word for you. (throws blouse at her) NEXT!
RAVEN
(to the girl behind her) Aargh, argh, no, girl! (to Frank; feeling through blouse) Actually, I left it in the pocket, now that I think about the situation, let me just get it for you because I really...need to give you this top back, I just wish I could get…(takes out a tiny piece of paper)...the receipt! Here it is. (shows it to Frank) Right here.
FRANK
That's it?
RAVEN
It would appear so. It must've, you know, shrunk when I washed it...
FRANK
Did you...
RAVEN
I had to get rid of the stain.
FRANK
The stain?
Victor and Cory walk over.
VICTOR
Raven?
RAVEN
Dad?
VICTOR
What are you doing here?
FRANK
I'll tell you what she's doing here, she's trying to pull the wool over my eyes, she wore this...she stained it, she washed it, she shrunk it, and now she has the mordacity to come and try and return it!
RAVEN
(whimper) Fronk, why??
VICTOR
Raven, is this true?
RAVEN
(Frank closed in on her; guiltily she speaks) Ci...
Victor gives her an angry look.
***
Raven is in the kitchen, hand washing dishes. There are stacks and stacks lined up against the sink. Victor is standing, with crossed arms, watching her carefully.
RAVEN
Dad, how many more dishes do I have to do? (places the latest clean dish on top of the pile)
VICTOR
Well, let's see. Shirt cost me a hundred dollars, plus a hundred dollars for the calculator, and at a nickel a plate, you'll be done by...(laughs)...you'll be done by the time you finish college.
Raven shares a quick "fake" laugh with Victor, and as she turns back to the sink when he walks away it eventuates into a whimper...
END CREDITS
That's So Raven © Walt Disney. No infringement is intended through the transcription of this episode originally written by Edward C. Evans.
